He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
