So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
