Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
