Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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