i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
