I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize