WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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