Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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