Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
