youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.