I'm retarded. Again.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”