My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.