Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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