I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
