Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
there is glitter all over my balls
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