There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
