some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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