You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
