Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
