i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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