woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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