Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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