So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
