So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
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I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
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best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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