There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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