Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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