we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
