Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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