please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
