She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
