I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
