Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
