i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
