and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize