CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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