woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you had me at cake vodka
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
