I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Drunk is a universal language darling
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
