he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
