I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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