I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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