I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
