kristin has been a bad kristin
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
