it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
