HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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