That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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