Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm getting married
To pizza
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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