Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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