he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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