I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
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I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
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Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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