I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
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I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
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I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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