I just cut my nipple shaving
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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