I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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