My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
