dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
