office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
