as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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