I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
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I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
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I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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